Dogaholics Anonymous

I found this at Magikal Tails and thought it was too cute. So I had to share … and include my answers.

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Good Evening. My name is __Megan__ and I AM a dogaholic.

I would like to welcome all of you to this month’s meeting of “Dogaholics Anonymous”. Some of you are here tonight because a friend or relative brought you here. You may be sitting here thinking that you are OK and that you really don’t need any help. It is not easy to admit that you are a dogaholic, and it is even harder to bring yourself to a DA meeting for help. DA is here to assist you. I have some questions to ask. If you can answer YES to more than three of the following, you have come to the right place.

1.Can you say “Bitch” in public without blushing? YES
2.Do you drive a station wagon, van, or 4×4 when everyone else drives a real car? YES
3.Do you have more than one car? One for you and one for the dogs? YES although we can fit two dogs in my car we need the truck for all four.
4.Do you spend your vacations and holidays going to shows, specialties, and seminars when everyone else goes on a cruise? What is a vacation? Anywhere we go must include the dogs.
5.If you do go overseas, is it to London in March to attend Crufts?Never heard of it.
6.Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make most doctors leave in disgust? 8.Do you consider formal wear to be clean jeans and freshly washed tennis shoes? I’m fine with non clean jeans
7.Is your interior decorator R.C. Steele?Um…never heard of it either
8.Was your furniture and carpeting chosen to match your dogs?Pretty much - at least we took their sometimes destructive behavior into account
9.Are your end tables really dog crates with tablecloths thrown over them? No crates here!
10.Do you know the meaning of CD, CDX, UD, CGC, HIC, WC, JH, MH, CH, and OTCH? No, someone want to fill me in?
11.Is your mail made up primarily of dog catalogs, dog magazines, and premium lists? We do get quite a few.
12.Do you get up before dawn to go to Training Classes? Dog Shows? Seminars? Sundays, yes. Thursdays I stay up late for training. And next weekend I’ll be at a show for two full days!
13.If you do have dresses, do they all have pockets? What’s a dress?
14.Do those pockets often contain freeze dried liver, Rollover, or squeaky toys? My jeans and jackets often do
15.When you meet a new person do you always ask them what kind of dog they have and pity them if they don’t have one? Totally!
16.Do you remember the name of a person’s dog sooner than you remember their name?*giggle* YES! I am actually very embarrassed by this sometimes.
17.Do you find non-dog people boring? Totally!

If you answered YES to one of the above, there is still hope.
If you answered YES to two, you are in serious trouble.
If you answered YES to three or more, you have come to the right place. My advice to all of you with three or more YESes is to sit back and smile, turn to the smiling person next to you and know that your life will always be filled with good friends and good dogs and it will never be boring.